Like Conquering the Whole World

When we first started looking for the cause of our difficulties, it seemed that we might be facing a very serious problem.

We decided to turn to a clinic specializing in infertility treatment because the doctors we had previously seen did not specialize in this field and mainly treated general gynecological conditions. We began our search close to home. We had read a lot about Klinika Bocian and noticed that many people from all over Poland travelled to Białystok for treatment there. We thought that if people were coming to Akademicka Street from outside Białystok while we lived right here, then we should go there too.

And that is exactly what we did.

We came under the care of Dr Cezary Grygoruk, whom I absolutely adore as a person and regard as a true authority as a doctor. It turned out that the problem that had previously seemed so serious was actually relatively straightforward and could be addressed quite quickly.

The diagnosis was made very quickly, which surprised us. Right from the beginning, the Doctor told us with confidence that I would become pregnant. That was when I learned that nature had given me only one ovary – something none of my previous doctors had noticed because they had always been looking in completely different directions. That was the fundamental issue, and several other things followed from it. What was needed was appropriate treatment and a procedure, followed by medication and ovarian stimulation – and eventually everything fell into place.

Of course, there was a great deal of stress during that time. There were countless appointments, tears and nerves, but we were constantly reassured that everything was moving in the right direction.

I don’t know exactly what it is about Dr Grygoruk, but we trusted him completely. Even though we often went into our appointments with heavy hearts and minds full of worries, we left his office feeling happy. We knew what was happening, we knew what to expect, and everything was clearly explained to us. We always felt that the Doctor gave us as much time as we needed.

During our appointments, he knew how to calm us down. Thanks to him, we found the strength to try again. Things always happened just as he had explained they would, and he gave us tremendous support. Of course, our families supported us too.

IVF opened the door to happiness for us. I cannot imagine my life without a child, so IVF was never a taboo subject in our family. Our families knew that we had made this decision, respected it and supported us wholeheartedly. All our friends knew as well, and no one ever made us feel that we were doing something wrong. We were aware that IVF was viewed differently in various political and religious circles, but the people around us supported us, and we did not have to face it alone. We drew strength from other people because there were many times when we had very little strength of our own.

Even though we knew that we were finally in good hands and that sooner or later we would become pregnant, the hardest part was actually believing it.

For a while, we withdrew from the world. Even seeing someone else pregnant was difficult. The worst part was the fear. Every appointment came with the fear that something might go wrong, that perhaps parenthood simply wasn’t meant for us…

I think that at first we lacked faith that medicine really could give nature a helping hand. We simply had to trust the people who knew what to do. After that, things gradually became easier.

We underwent our first IVF attempt. Unfortunately, it did not result in pregnancy. Several follicles had developed well, and we froze some of the eggs because we didn’t know what the future would bring. IVF is not something you can undergo month after month – it involves intensive stimulation followed by a period of waiting.

We decided to try IVF for a second time, but unfortunately that attempt was unsuccessful as well.

At that point, I said we had to stop. I simply wasn’t physically or emotionally capable of going through a third procedure at that time.

The Doctor said that was absolutely fine, but suggested that we take care of the eggs we had frozen – after all, why should they be left waiting on their own?

We thought, why not? It wasn’t painful and didn’t require the same extensive preparation.

And it was from those frozen eggs that we finally achieved our pregnancy.

Our little embryo had developed in the laboratory, apparently decided that this was the right time, and waited for me.

When we took a pregnancy test and saw two lines, we couldn’t believe it. We took another test, and then another. I was even afraid to say out loud that there really were two lines.

The first thing I did was call Dr Grygoruk and tell him. Of course, he was delighted. He told me to try to take the news calmly – or at least try – and to come in after some time for an ultrasound so that we could see the baby’s heartbeat.

And so it began: incredible happiness and the wait for that first ultrasound.

Those moments were magical, but we were also terrified that perhaps it would only last for a day. The following day, we took another test just to make sure. Then came the blood tests, which confirmed that my hormone levels were rising as they should and that this was a real, developing pregnancy.

My pregnancy was monitored very closely because it had been so deeply longed for and awaited. I was aware that all the hormones I had taken had left me somewhat weakened, so I wasn’t one of those expectant mothers who could stay constantly active throughout pregnancy. I was much more of a quiet, cautious mother patiently waiting for the birth.

Janek was delivered by cesarean section performed by Dr Grygoruk together with Dr Mrugacz. It was quick, there were no complications, and everything went well.

I feel wonderful being a mother. Many people used to tell me that I would become an overprotective mother who would never be able to let her child go. But common sense prevailed. Perhaps all those years of waiting for a child gave me a great deal of perspective when it came to raising him. At least, we try very hard to teach our son important values without spoiling him too much.

People who are trying to have a baby face an incredibly difficult journey. Everything around you seems to remind you of just one thing – becoming pregnant or losing a pregnancy. It is an extremely difficult situation. Very little brings you joy, and you often have to put on a brave face even when you are struggling inside.

It is very easy to hurt someone going through infertility by saying the wrong thing. When you know someone is trying for a baby, you become much more careful with your words – but sometimes, of course, you simply don’t know what they are going through.

Patience is probably the most important thing in a situation like this. You also have to place yourself in the hands of people who know what they are doing and trust them, because without that trust, it is incredibly difficult.

And you cannot lose hope.

Just because it didn’t work once doesn’t mean it won’t work the next time. And if one approach doesn’t succeed, another one might. You cannot give up or even allow yourself to believe that there is no hope.

If your doctor tells you that you can do this, you have to trust them. You cannot give up and walk away.

Janek is here with us – our long-awaited, wonderful, handsome, clever and absolutely amazing son.

It feels like conquering the whole world. Nothing else compares.