A Difficult Journey

So We Wouldn’t Regret It One Day…

It was a terrible time… I had never felt a strong need to have a child, but after receiving that news, something inside me broke. It felt as though my whole world had collapsed. I didn’t understand it myself. We knew that we could still be happy together, just as we had always been… And yet, every day I couldn’t stop the tears. Paradoxically, my own results, including my AMH level, turned out to be very good, almost unusually good for my age (41.5).

My husband (42) started talking about IVF. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t believe we could succeed at my age. I knew the statistics. He kept telling me that there was always a chance. I couldn’t imagine going through with it – in any respect, including financially. But eventually, we decided to give ourselves a chance. One chance. Our last chance… So that one day, we wouldn’t regret not trying.

Our First Visit to Klinika Bocian in Białystok

We travelled to Klinika Bocian in Białystok – 500 km away. We had read that it was a good clinic, and intuitively I felt that if we were going to do this, this was the place.

After a few tests, we were told that stimulation could begin immediately. We could barely get the words out when it came time to decide whether to start. We sat there in silence for a long time, completely overwhelmed. The doctor wanted to give us time to think, but we knew that time was exactly what we didn’t have. We had travelled all that way for a reason…

The doctor made no promises, but we felt that he believed in us, that perhaps it really could work…

Hormonal Stimulation

We bought the medication and began stimulation. A week later, we returned and stayed for two weeks. We followed a short protocol. Everything went very calmly, without great expectations. We placed our trust in a Higher Power and in whatever fate had in store for us… We knew that this was our last chance – we would not be able to go through another attempt.

Time for the Test

The first test came 11 days later. Positive beta-hCG! We couldn’t believe it, but we remained calm, knowing that there was still a long way to go…

There were difficult moments along the way – spotting, hospital stays, a hematoma, and eventually even surgery at 22 weeks of pregnancy. It was incredibly traumatic, especially with our baby growing inside me. Things could have turned out very differently. But it worked on our very first attempt.

I was 42 when I gave birth, and my husband was 43. I don’t know – perhaps it was like winning the lottery, but I believe it was simply meant to be.

Our Happiness

Today, there are three of us. We have a beloved, healthy son. Everything happened so quickly that at first, even we couldn’t quite believe what had happened to us.

I think that staying calm is also very important throughout the entire process. I know it may be difficult to believe, but we actually enjoyed going to Klinika Bocian. I also think we found the right doctor for us. I look back on that time fondly. There was a sense of calm. We did a little sightseeing and tried not to put ourselves under pressure by thinking that it simply had to work. Of course, deep down, we wanted it more than anything, but we were almost afraid to say it out loud.

We both knew what the other was thinking, but somehow we communicated almost without words. Afraid to voice our deepest hopes, we entrusted our journey to someone else, believing that we would be guided along the path that was right for us – whatever the outcome.

Quietly, I prayed that this day would become the happiest day of our lives… And it did.

I don’t regret that we didn’t act sooner, and I don’t think of it in terms of having neglected something. It was simply meant to happen this way. This was our journey – and I believe it was a very fortunate one.

It is a journey I wish for every one of you – even if it is long and difficult, may it ultimately lead you to your dream.